Plan of Action

It is hard to leave an abusive relationship and many women stay for years for many reasons. This may include fear of retribution on them or their children, or in the hope that their partner will change.

Women may be fearful of being alone or leaving their community and home, they may be ashamed and even believe they are to blame for their partner’s actions.

Leaving an abusive process can be a lengthy process and many women leave and return a number of times before finally making a permanent break. Do not be afraid to ask for help.

Step 1
Recognise that you are in an abusive relationship and nothing can change until you seek help and support. (test your relationship here)

Step 2
Seek emotional support and practical help. Start by talking to a friend that you can trust. You can also call the Guernsey Women’s Refuge on tel 01481 721999, or the Police Domestic Violence Officer for advice. 

Step 3
Make a crisis safety plan to help keep you and your children safe.

Store emergency clothes, money, children’s special toys, important documents, addresses and telephone numbers and duplicate car keys with someone you trust. However Refuge is able to provide clothing, food, toiletries and toys until arrangements can be made to safely retrieve personal belongings.

Plan how to contact emergency help at any time. It may even help to agree signals with a neighbour if you aren’t able to use the telephone.

Step 4
Get advice about your legal rights, protection under the law, safe housing and money. (there's much to help you on our links page)